I want everything to begin. I want to start my life with Bob. I want to have the direction I need to be the best I can in whatever job I am intended to do. I want to strengthen my bond with the Lord. I want to be a woman that people look up to and I am proud of. I want to be a supportive Mom raising Godly children. I want to be an outstanding wife. I want to be active and organized. I want a home of my own to decorate. I want to have it together. I want to feel complete.
I feel this is a more personal post than most I write, but its late at night and I'm more honest and open when I'm tired. Part of my says, "Silly Katie, life has begun, enjoy the ride." Another part of me says, "In due time." And then there's the child in me stomping her feet and saying "I've been patient, I want it now!"
Does anyone else suffer with this? Suffer with these human imperfections and feelings of being unsettled and restless? In Church on Sunday I felt like God was saying "Follow me and life will happen beautifully", and by Monday night I'm worried and too too human.
I read so many tremendous blogs of great Christian women who are living their lives and following God's will and it makes me so excited for the future. Some how I need to bring myself back down to where I am now and accept it's for a reason.
'To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal ... a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance ... a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to lose and a time to seek; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace."- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8