Wednesday, July 14, 2010


I woke up to a horrible whiff. An odor no one should have as an alarm clock. The Culprit? Shelby. That beloved blonde pup with those long lashes had squatted and crapped all over my room. Lovely.

My Mother informed me that our other darling lab, Boca had done the same thing in her loft.

Alpo > Me

But wait, I remembered we had a Bissell Carpet Cleaner, I could fix this and quick, no doubt! I lugged the machine in all of its heavy glory up to my room and googled the user manual. I followed the instructions as if I was preparing for a carpet cleaning test. I was ready and then… nothing. Perhaps hauling this mother load to the loft and trying it there would prove better results? The machine turned on but the soap did not suds and the water didn’t saturate. Frustrated I took that beloved Bissell machine apart and tried again. I read the user manual a little more and laughed, I kid you not it uses the word “easy” to describe the instructions probably more times than Beyonce can say “Single Ladies” in a 3:55 minute time span.

Then tonight, once my Dad was home he announced what I wish I’d known earlier: the machine was crap, dead, lack luster, sayonara, broke. He’d used that sweet machine maybe twice before it just stopped. Mr. Bissell, if we met, I’m not sure after today we’d be friends. In fact Bissell, I wouldn’t even wave a hand of appreciation if you were to let me enter a busy intersection in front of you. Now that’s cold. 

Well you know what they say… Crap today, Febreze tomorrow?


  1. Oh that is NO fun! I wouldn't have been a happy camper either if I woke up to that.

  2. We have a machine called "Little Green" which is made for animal messes. It is my best friend and the sole reason that there are still three dogs living in my house. If my husband knew half the things they've shit out on the carpet, they would be sitting pretty in the Dallas SPCA.

  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog!! Your blog is so cute too! yay! Another Chicago gal. :-)

  4. Oh my sorry! Yuck, yuck! Did the febreeze at least help? this is a really disgusting story...ready? Before I dated Rob he had really long hair (rocker dude) & had a dog. Well, one night the dog did his business in his hair and Rob woke up to it in the morning. Need I say more??? Sorry...tmi...I know. lol...

  5. Just stopping by to let you know I gave you the "Sugar Doll" award and love reading your blog :)

  6. oh bummer... what a mess! we have a dyson and its amazing; i highly recommend. hope you have a happy weekend!

  7. Oh, gross! This is reason "#2" I don't have a dog. "#1" is they pee on the floor. Hardy. Har. Har. I know... I crack me up, too. ;) Hope she learns to hold it, soon! ;)

  8. oh no! I laughed out loud reading this. Only because I have been there too! Bless your heart!

  9. Heehee that's nasty! My dog did the same when he was a puppy. These novelty machines/ products are useless!

    Gemma X


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